In this new age of sexual harassment suits by the thousands, and battery among women and children, is it any wonder that people have stopped touching almost altogether!
The old adage that a hug a day keeps the doctor away (yes, apples too!), couldn’t be more true. Babies have been known to stop talking, when neglected and never touched. Seniors wither away in nursing homes not only from their age, but from lack of touch. The healing powers in a simple touch are evident to the millions of people flocking to chiropractors and massage therapists. And yet the stresses in each of our lives are mounting higher as the years go by, causing our bodies to need more touch, and getting less.
In my interviews and surveys, I have found that there are countless women who receive practically no touch. Not until of course their spouses or lovers care to indulge in their 10-15 minute playtime. Then it’s over. Sometimes they might even get lucky and achieve an Orgasm. Most times they don’t. Sadly, this will be the last time most of them are touched or even kissed until the next "love session". Sometimes a whole week goes by. Sometimes more. Their souls and spirits are craving touch, and when they don’t get it they only feel empty and hollow. They try to keep busy with the kids and/or work, the house and their social functions. All the while resentment begins to build up. Because even if their spouses or lovers "try" to remember their women need touch every day (maybe even without sex), they soon forget. I find that when men in general don’t need the same things as women, they tend to forget giving that thing that is missing in our lives. You can try to talk to them forever. Eventually they just think you are nagging them.
Remember …anything you want done to you, you will have to do first to them! It’s all part of the 'training mode' women are so familiar with. Relationships and Sex is no different.
Start out every day and night with a gentle hug. Nothing hard and pressing…but simple and soft. Come to your lover, no matter how bad your day has been. They are not a mind reader like most of us are! (Trust me). And do it so they aren’t given the wrong message. For as soon as you touch them, their blood will rush to their groins, and make them start wondering what you are really doing!
Just simply tell them you need to be touched today. Get them in the habit of 'feeling you' at least twice a day. Maybe you could get them in the habit of feeling you at the couch while watching TV. Or my favorite place is the bed, relaxing with our bed chairs, either reading a book or watching TV. It allows more room for connection. For those who like to read a lot, it could give you an excuse to throw a leg on his or roll into him on your side until he gets the "message" that it’s time for you to be "petted". This is all I need if I can't have sex. Petting. Whether it’s a scratch on the back, or a small massage…I and countless millions of other women need petting every night. It’s the only way I can feel connected to him if I’m NOT having sex. Which to me is the ultimate and most fulfilling ways of connecting. It's especially important for the times that some men like to go into their "caves"! And ladies, trust me, most men do. That dark ugly cave. And they don’t even have PMS! It can be their hide away someplace in the garage, shed, the Gym, or wherever they feel manly in doing manly things. It can even be those irritating little naps every evening they use to "escape". Some have called it their "private time". Yes we all need those moments. But I am referring to the times our spouses just have to "escape" from you, the kids, the house, the chores...whatever. Some men can go all weekend hiding out without speaking a word except for the basic needs for life. There are books out there as well about letting them have this time. For healing. For reflection. As much as it irritates the heck out of you, (since obviously YOU don't usually get the same equal courtesies due to all your extra duties as a wife, mother and career woman), you should allow them this time, "within reason".
That’s when the quiet lonely days hit hard. I don’t expect anything else from him, not even conversation, except my nightly touch. It frees him up to do his own thing, without having to "think" in conversation, or the pressure to "perform" in sex. I don’t nag or beg… I just throw myself on him… one way or another. After 20 years, he has "begun" to get the message!
I truly believe that if there were more touching in this world, there would be less divorces, less crimes, maybe even less wars!
The Tease
Did you ever meet someone new, and had a great interest in them, and suddenly through no intention of your own you somehow found yourself brushing his hand accidentally while handing him papers, or somehow fate allowed you two to bump into each other while passing in the hallway? Do you remember the intense thrill you felt...at that first touch?
Our skin is the "biggest" organ on our bodies. Because it's an organ, it's a separate functioning piece of your body, almost with a mind of it's own! It is also THE most sensual part of us next to our brains. The sense of feel and touch wrapped up with tingling emotions is one of the greatest delights a person could experience.
WARNING: If you are "offended" by different techniques of Oral Sex, then please stop here.
When I hear reports of men wanting to rush right through lovemaking, only to get to the "end result" makes me so sorry for them and especially their women, about how much they are missing the greatest experience of all! The different ways to touch skin and watch it quiver or curl up for you whether it's by the tips of your fingers or your tongue, is one of the most sensual things for a person to learn to do. Some women can literally, in seconds, become a tide pool of sweet nectar below, as they lay between their lovers legs and tickle their thighs and scrotum with the tips of their tongues. It can be the most amazing thing to watch that skin crawl and act on it's own. The best part is watching that beautiful appendage grow hard with anticipation. And him finding that you love to touch his whole body, every way you can, and drive him crazy by NOT touching the main organ of ecstasy, until he's ready to die. This is an art with many women and they have grown to literally worship the male appendage.
This section is to aid you in learning to love the male appendage. And meant for those who are afraid of it, or find it hard to cooperate with the desire of their husbands. For once you learn, your whole way of thinking and loving changes. Your interests in sex will peak to new levels. There are so many women who are still literally afraid of it. Some even think it's ugly. This is why, statistically, so many men go out for "other" fulfillment. Their wives and lovers are not "INTO" their sex organs. For some men, this is not an issue. For others it is. And if this article can help cut down on infidelity, or broken homes by simply teaching you small steps to achieving great goals, then it was well worth it.
Adoration
Penis adoration is an art that only a select few know about. Some have called it Penis Worship. This in no way is to offend those who take the word 'worship' seriously in their religious upbringing. Because we all worship something. It could be that new car sitting in your garage. Or the weekly ball game you can't stop watching for anything next to being forced to run someone to the emergency room at the hospital. Some are so narcissticaly into their own bodies, that they have to catch every shiny object they pass by to see their own reflection. Or they are obsessed about their gym time. But I want to share all I can to let you in on a few secrets. First of all, you need to ask yourself, "do I love my spouse or lover?" Of course you do! And if you don't, you SHOULD NOT be where you are right now. Because eventually you both will get all tied up in knots. There are enough problems between REAL lovers...you will just be creating your own problems if you are in the wrong relationship for the wrong reasons.
If you truly love your spouse or lover, then you love everything about him right? Or at least you 'try'. (I know, some parts are not pretty...especially those little 'child-like' qualities you confuse for being your child!). But if you love his mouth, you kiss it. Right? It gives you pleasure. You love his hands for their strength, their touch, especially on the erogenous zones of your body, so you kiss them too. They really give you pleasure. And, throughout his whole body, you discover how much his body can give your body pleasure. You watch his penis grow (for you), and he's so very proud, by the way, that it's "there" just for you! For some men take a little longer to 'grow' as they get older. And it can be devastating to their psyche. You look at his scrotum, and view the different textures as you gently touch it and watch it synch up and crawl to the touch of your fingers. You realize that you are in control of his orgasm. And at anytime you can make him come for you. But all you want to do is just tease him to death...for you realize his orgasm will be excruciatingly greater if you cause him to hold out! 'Holding out' on his part is the thing that many women do not try to help their men with. They do not know how to approach him about it. So they just live with a quick orgasm on his part, and then it's usually over.
Touching the penis not only with your fingers, but with the tip of your tongue is one of the things a lot of men crave the most. Again, it's not a real issue with some men. Let's make that clear and get that out of the way. But for those who "need" it, they want to feel consumed and selfish for a moment. They want you to make them feel like they are the biggest and best thing you've ever had. For a moment, it's a good game to play for them. Call it 'stroking' their egos just for a moment. I know some women who would think I'm nuts to suggest giving in to something as 'low' as pleasing a man without receiving anything back. But they do not know what it does for some of us. A woman who is totally in tune with her body can get so excited just tasting, nibbling and sucking on every part of this magnificent manhood, that some can literally orgasm only a few minutes after they hop onto their men. But it all must take place slow, methodically, and sensually.
It can be explained better by describing it as a sort of 'pet' that you love, as you lay petting it and nuzzling your face next to it. This may sound very crazy but it works. So many women 'still' do not partake in oral sex for various reasons. And for those who are under heavy pressure from their spouses or lovers to try it, I challenge you to at least try a few slow and methodical kisses on the shaft. Gently lay your face against it as you pet the side of it. Feel the warmth of it, and the hardness. It's there just for YOU. Appreciate it, and love it.
There
are other 'methods' of creating a slow and passionate time of enjoying 'your'
appendage. After all, it's there for you. Treat it as yours. There are the
little tickles around the scrotum and under, that can make them wild. Then there
are the little licks and kisses to the glans at the underside of the head that
are extremely sensitive. I once had a gentleman tell me that there was a
girl in his high school that the whole school called "The Vacuum". I'm
wondering if she had heard this term, for I would have truly hated it myself! For
one thing it signifies no finesse or tenderness. It also portrays stupidity on
her part that she was giving away a "gift" to people with nothing in
return. With no love, respect, or commitment to go with it as well. I asked him
if he had been one of the recipients of this "lucky" moment from her.
He quickly stated no! And realized that he was better off for not letting her.
For he understood now that he was an adult, and had someone he cared about, the importance of tenderness, and
finesse. He needed the loving touch and kisses that would come with someone he
adored rather than the quick burst of energy that she would have quickly given
and been done with. They would have ultimately been left empty afterwards.
There is so much more I would like to share with you on this topic, but I will leave it here for now. I am interested in how many of you have changed your way of thinking in the last few years regarding this subject. Whether it's positive or negative.
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